2015-05-22 Ask For Change

2015-05-22

Ask for Change

I think I am a good person, and I feel most people would consider themselves good people as well. It is because of this, that I, and I am confident you, feel compelled to help others and see the potential in people. I do feel however, that this is a limited idea, if happiness is a personal goal.

This is why

Has anyone ever tried to correct you on something that you did not want his or her help with? Has anyone ever tried to coach you to do something you ultimately did not want to do? Has anyone ever given you his or her opinion, when you did not really care to hear it (or it served no actual purpose?)? 

How did these situations make you feel?  Ultimately, did it succeed in changing you (considering you did not want to be changed)?

The answer is no

Now consider you are at times that person, deliberately or subconsciously.

We choose to see the best in people. Also, we try to share our opinions, feedback, guidance and help to those as well.  Those are only productive and worthwhile to do if one condition is met…

That they ask you for it

In my experience, specifically in health and fitness, I used to feel compelled to share my opinion and offer advice, without being asked. My experience? Not one positive change, not one successful long-term outcome.

Why? It is simple; they did not seek it out

If someone is not ready to listen, it does not matter what you have to say. All the energy, knowledge, and time spent will be for nothing. That is not only defeating, but also futile. Instead, I direct my time and energy on opportunities and situations where I have been invited, and therefore allowed to help. This has been a monumentally more successful, and meaningful change.

What it looks like in practical application is simple; if someone is venting, I listen. If someone is thinking aloud, I listen. If they tell me their plans, I listen. If they ask, I answer.

Real simple, real efficient.

Ultimately, the foundation of this idea is not something I thought into existence; I learned it through a mini-course called solutions-focused coaching. The course essentially says that there are two directions: problem solving and solutions focused coaching. Long story short, the first pitch for solution focused coaching is called platforming. What platforming literally means is asking if this (problem, conflict, etc.) is something one wants help with, or is just venting. This idea has fundamentally changed the way I approach human interactions.

The same can be said for relationships.

Relationships are the most challenging, volatile and unpredictable storms to set sail into. Consider some of the courting elements of modern dating;

Show interest, but not too much

Hangout, but not too much

Txt them, but not too much

Try and play it cool as long as possible

Act like you do no care

Never care more than they do

Well, that sure does sound complicated.

I believe that a lot of the time, it goes as simple as this;

Person A likes person B, but person B does not like person A. So, while person A is trying to figure out the mastermind approach of the right amounts of the courting elements, person B does not care. So, person A will torment themselves trying to chase person B, because they are convinced that is how it is supposed to go.

Person A is trying to solve person B’s problem of being single, but person B is not asking for person A’s opinions, feedback, guidance or help.

It is really silly when put like that, right?

I am sure we have all experienced being both person A and person B. They both suck, a lot. While we cannot control (nor would we want to) other people’s feelings or wants, we can be aware if we are trying to sell something they just do not want to buy. It feels devastating to chase something you will never experience, just like it feels devastating to allow someone to do so on account of you.

When in doubt, I suggest platforming for two basic reasons.

1.     If there is a miscommunication, you can fix it and live happily ever after

2.     If they do not like you, it’s an efficient way to figure that out. At which point, who cares anyway? Next!

Ultimately in life, fitness, health, and even relationships, I feel that happiness is internal. We should seek to understand if we are invited, because if we do not that is just a waste of time.

If happiness is the goal (leanstronghappy), we should focus on what we can change. Without permission, is it worth the time and energy? I do not think so.

2015-05-14 Taking The Body For Granted

2015-05-14

Taking The Body For Granted

   Today I witnessed something that allowed me to properly articulate an idea I have had swimming around in my head for quite a while.

Taking the body for granted.

   I passed an older man getting changed in the change room. We will call him Bob. Bob was getting changed out of his street clothes into his workout clothes. Was that impressive? No, because that is what people do in a change room. What amazed me was the speed at which Bob was able to do so. It was incredibly slow, because he was incredibly immobile. I know it was a slow process because when I returned roughly 5 minutes later, not much had changed for Bob.

A turtles pace.

   When I returned to my desk, I thought about Bob for a minute. I wondered, why? It would have had to take him quite some time to venture to the gym, get changed, work out, and then get changed again and head back home.

So, why does Bob do it?

   I think Bob does it because he believes in longevity, and maintaining what form of movement he does have. I think he probably does it because he sees it as a form of self-respect. Maybe he is doing it to see his family for a few more years. Perhaps Bob is even doing it so he can fight off wearing diapers. I can only speculate the why at this point, but I don’t need to question the desire.

Taking the body for granted.

   I find it very motivating to see Bob working out. However, what about those who do not? What about the average men and women that choose not to take care of their bodies until it is too late (if even at all)? What about the people who decide to take the easy route and not give back to their bodies? What about the people who cannot find time for their bodies, but find time for their Netflix?

   What if one of your friends had food, perfectly fine food, and let it go to waste, daily.

   Would you be irritated at your friend? Would you judge them and their wasteful habits? Would you try to help them make better decisions, as to not waste as much food, because others in the world as starving?

This is health and fitness.

   There are people in the world, like Bob, that I bet would put a functioning body to good use. To see others waste their bodies and slowly deteriorate, I am sure is irritating to those who would do so much more. So, who has the right to disrespect and take their bodies for granted? No one truly does. It is truly disappointing, to do so little with so much.

Respect the body, move the body

If not for yourself, for people like Bob.

2015-05-11 Water Change [Experiment]

2015-05-11

Water change [Experiment]

   After drinking distilled water for quite a while, I have decided to switch to drinking reverse osmosis water. Today was the first day on the new water. There have been two extended periods of distilled water as my primary water source, split between a 4-week return to tap water (which was terrible).

  

   The first extended period, it was plain distilled water. The second, I began adding minerals and other sources of nutrients into the distilled water.

   Overall, I feel drinking 4L of distilled water daily with added nutrients has been a positive switch for me.

So, why switch to reverse osmosis?

   Distilled and reverse osmosis are both considered forms of purified, mineral free water. Depending on who you ask, there are many varying opinions on which is better, if it all, for long-term consumption.

   Some people say that distilled water leaches minerals and toxins from the body, both the good and the bad.

   Others say it is amazing because it does not have anything at all in it, which allows you to add what you would like back in. Others say that adding things back in is too late because the water is already ‘dead’.

   Some people seem to feel the exact same way about reserve osmosis, while others who are against distilled seem to be in favour of reverse osmosis.

   Some people say spring, or filtered water is the best.

   Some people even say tap water is the best and fluoride is great for the body.

Clearly, people are free to believe what they choose to believe.

   Reverse osmosis, for me, seems to be the other side of the purified water game. In my experience, people who are water-savvy tend to either drink distilled, or reverse osmosis.

So, why not right?

   Although it is only the first day, my first impression is that the water tastes a lot different. Better? Probably. New? Absolutely.

   I decided not to put any citations in this article, or reference anything too specific, because ultimately it is your choice to drink whatever water you prefer.

   The reason for my lack of opinion on the topic of water is because it is truly open to debate. Even in researching for a couple quick pointers, it is very evident that gym rats, holistic folks, academic peeps, and big health names all have differing opinions on which is best. They all seem to have a book full of reasons on why their water is best. So, for that, I think it is truly open to interpretation.

   My plan now is to drink 4L of reverse osmosis daily, and compare how I feel, look, and perform in my day-to-day duties as well as with my weight lifting program.

The main reasons I am trying this new water are:

1.     To try something new, that my friends in health and fitness currently ingest.

2.     For convenience, because I can fill up 18L jugs each trip.

3.     To save money, because I buy 18L for $3.50, whereas 4L of distilled runs anywhere from $1.50-$3.00 based on my ability to purchase.

   I would say that for anyone reading this, it would be good to Google different types of water, and how they each work. Read different arguments, each picking a particular type of water. Read how quickly the information can be swayed, positioned or even omitted to make a certain claim on which is best.

   I have decided, that for me personally, distilled and potentially reverse osmosis water is optimal for me.

Is what you are currently drinking the best water for you?

2015-05-09 The Park

2015-05-09 The Park

Today was a very pleasant day.

I woke up on my balcony (because I decided it was a good idea to sleep ‘outside’ last night) covered in sun light this morning. Besides being very warm, I absolutely enjoyed waking up outside as I can say I have never slept like that before. A solid ‘first’ for me.

Waking up outside fueled my desire to spend the rest of the day outside as well (including now, as I write this sprawled across my balcony picnic-style). Last year, I felt like I severely underutilized the nice weather as I spent most of my days off asleep. This is because I spent most of my Friday and Saturday nights up until the sun was beginning to rise. This year, I know I want to experience more, and be more active on my days ‘off’.

So, today I ventured to the park along the Thames River. The river itself is not very nice, but it is water nonetheless. Upon arriving, I removed everything except my pants, and was able to just be. It was an incredibly authentic feeling. Left alone, in nature, to just observe and surrender to the calm.

This has allowed me to realize I need to spend more time outside, to experience more of the calm.

I also feel I would like to experience this with others. I picture it being a very nice way to socialize in a genuine environment. Also, I should bring food – because my stomach was not as impressed as my soul was.

Today was a pleasant day, and I was happy.

Who knew a little vitamin D and grass under my feet would turn me into a hippy!

I invite you to do the same. Grab some friends, head to some green space, and just be. Turn the cell phones off, take the socks off, sprawl out - immerse yourself into the moment.

Peace and Love, lol

2015-05-06 The First

2015-05-06

The First

   I finally have my own .com website! This is a goal I have had for quite some time, so completing it makes me very happy! Another goal, a Youtube page, is another to-do I can cross off as complete.

Since switching from just blogging to Youtube+blogging, I have found a new dilemma when approaching content. It is now a question of not only what the content should be, but also what method I should present it through. Written, or video?

Personally, I find written can be more descriptive. It can allow for more information to be presented in a linear structure, and easier to understand because the words are clear and to the point.

I feel that video is great because there are people out there who prefer visuals. It is also easier for me to show my personality. Personally, I think I am hilarious...but I don't feel that comedy shines through the written word (clearly). Also, since the majority of my content I write as opinion, it is easier to present in front of the lens as oppose to the keyboard.

I feel I will be doing the majority of my content through Youtube from now on, because I enjoy it more and I feel it is the preferred method of the majority. My goal is a 3:1 ratio of Youtube content to written content. However, it ultimately decides on the actual content for given concept.